Karen Horney — — Routledge. Please try again later. The Complete and Definitive Text. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. The Neurotic Personality of Our Time: Karen Horney: : Books He easily feels hurt, despised, neglected, slighted, and reacts with proportionate vindictive resentment. Amazon Rapids Fun stories for kids on the go.
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Or his striving for power may be connected with some particular cause: family, political or professional group, native land, a religious or scientific idea. The neurotic striving for power, however, is born out of anxiety, hatred and feelings of inferiority. To put it categorically, the normal "The feeling of power, for example, may in a normal person be born of the realization of his own superior strength, whether it be physical strength or ability, mental capacities, maturity or wisdom.
To put it categorically, the normal striving for power is born of strength, the neurotic of weakness". This example illustrated the typical factors that combine to generate a neurotic ambition: from the beginning she felt insecure because she felt unwanted; considerable antagonism was created, which could not be expressed because the mother, the dominate figure in the family, demanded blind admiration; the repressed hatred generated a great deal of anxiety; her self-esteem had never had a chance to grow, she had been humiliated on several occasions, and she felt definitely stigmatized by the experience with her brother; attempts to reach out for affection as a means of reassurance has failed.
Nor should others recognize it, because if they do there is a danger of losing their affection. If a lover or husband does not exactly live up to expectations, if he is late, does not telephone, goes out of town, a neurotic woman feels that he does not love her. Instead of recognizing that what she feels is plain anger reaction to a lack of compliance with wishes of her own, which as often as not are inarticulate, she interprets the situation as evidence that she is unwanted".
The more a person, whether a man or woman, is incapable of such giving in, the more unsatisfactory will be his love relationships. This sane factor may have a bearing also on frigidity, inasmuch as having an orgasm presupposes just this capacity of complete letting go. Depending on which striving is dominant, this hostility takes the form of a tendency to domineer, a tendency to humiliatey or a tendency to deprive others. This may manifest itself in depression or fatigue.
This may then result in such inhibitions as an inability to give orders, to be decisive, to express a precise opinion, with the result that the neurotic often appears unduly compliant. This in turn leads him to mistake his inhibitions for an innate softness.
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The Neurotic Personality of Our Time